Chapter 19: About the men

...Which brings me to an important digression regarding the men of Havana and across tho whole of cuba from what i could tell; This waiter was the first in what would be a long line of unrequited invitations from the very forward Cuban males, and I would love it if I could feel flattered by these come-ons but it’s pretty much guaranteed that these guys are just looking to connect with a rich foreigner who might buy them a few drinks at bar that they couldn’t normally afford to go to. In addition to regularly being asked out – regularly being about once or twice a day – I am also faced with a constant stream (constant being 8 out of every ten men I pass on the street) of equal parts intense wide eyed stares, off hand comments, hissing, whistling, and last but certainly not least, flattery. This is not all that different from Nicaragua, however the simple fact that there are way more people here I think makes it worse.

A typical ten minute walk might go like this –intense stare, whistle, hiss, ola, where are you from, hello lady, hello beautiful, hey baby, guapissimo! Que linda, cosa mas bella, ola mami rico, hiss, stare, hiss, stare, hiss, offhand comment, beautiful, demaciado! Mas bonita, offhand comment, stare, stare, stare, whistle, hiss, hiss, stare, hello lady, excuse me, pregunta, do you speak English?, can I ask you a question?, why not?, why you don’t talk to me?, stare, whistle, offhand comment etc. etc. etc. I have been filling my ego bank with all the phrases that fit into the flattery category, although the line between flattering and off-hand can sometimes be blurry when you don’t really speak the language – but regardless, my ego bank is now very full of some very ego enhancing Spanish comments – this is the only consolation for having to put on male blinders wherever I go. It is very unnatural to completely ignore someone who is talking directly at you – especially when they follow you into your front gate – in which case the strategy has to switch from ignoring to shooing away – but it seems to be getting marginally easier the more time passes. But back to the question of food...